I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
