You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
