just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
