I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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