So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
