Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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