I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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