so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
