she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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