I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
