I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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