i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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