i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
