Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
