I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
