That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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