she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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