im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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