party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
