i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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