So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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