just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
