Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
