I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
