oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
