but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
