I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
