24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I want is dick and wine.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
