I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
