The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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