can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You took a bar mat shot.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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