Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
