I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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