Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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