She said her name was "party"
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
