Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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