My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
