hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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