Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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