I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
