O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you would pick up someone in the library
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
