stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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