I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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