Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
