I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
