Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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