What a fucking waste of an outfit
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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