i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
