I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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