By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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