im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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